I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
There are leaves in my underwear?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize