he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
