I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
i drank out of a bidet.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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