that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
