soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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