did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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