I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Randomize
