I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize