is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
