I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
