One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
