no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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