The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
