I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Randomize
