i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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