I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
