I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
ok first of all what the fuck
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
