her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize