I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
