Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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