i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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