Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
