I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize