am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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