Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
