So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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