I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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