I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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