i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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