There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
