My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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