yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize