Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
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