so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I was not drunk enough for that final.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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