i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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