just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
