it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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