...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
