She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize