I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize
