There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Someone shattered a urinal.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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