Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
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