I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
my poor anus
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
