I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
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