At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
