She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
