Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Just cropdusted the office
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
