My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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