HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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