I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
