she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
