If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
This toilet bowl is my home.
please don't ironically join a cult
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