i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
