There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
