he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
