You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
OPIZZABONMYDICK
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
