Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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