he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
