he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
So vagazzling was a success
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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