12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
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