Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize