You're so nebulous sometimes
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
